Friday 5th October 2012
Wow it’s been a huge week for me, I am now officially a published writer. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am now set free from my past. It is very shocking and it’s something I would never had been able to talk about. But for me to achieve my future goals, I had to put my past out there. And what an absolute relief it is to do that. My best friend is reading it at the moment and she thought she knew me but she didn’t and I think THAT is what people will find difficult to handle, they thought they knew me but they didn’t, not at all. Ultimately my past is my past and it is gone. As Steve keeps telling me, “You’re free from it all, you can let it go” and that I have done.
Do I care what people think of me or my past? Not really because if I did care, I would never had been able to write it all and put it out there but I have. Steve has taught me not to care about anything really and thank god the people pleaser in me is well and truly gone.
I am giving signed copies to specific people and I’m seeing my lovely trainer Louise this weekend to give her a signed copy as she is in it towards the end.
I am so happy to be free rather than being a slave to an illusion which for most of my life I was. Life is for living and now I will go and do everything I said I would do without any baggage, not many people can say they are free of their issues but thank god I finally am.
I will have more time to write my blog properly. I am heavily into my off season and have realised I don’t have that much time before I start dieting again next year. Limits are now being pushed as I have 100% recovered from my surgery. I do need to tweet a lot more, I just don’t want to bombard people with loads of crap so I try to keep it related to training. I always find you need time to do these things and I need to now make time for the internet. lol! However I finally got the new Iphone 5 and compared to my mega old one, it’s so luxurious. I will try and make an effort to tweet more.
I am looking forward to reading Arnie’s Autobiography; Steve ordered it for me as soon he announced he was writing it.
It’s been a difficult time sorting out my mums house etc but some of my very kitsch 80s toys have come out of the attic. I may do a funny blog post at some point showing the 80s stuff.
I’m not going to the British Finals this year, I don’t have the time to spend a weekend in Manchester especially as my mums house is getting sorted out to get sold. That is a bigger priority at the moment.
Anyway crew, I’ve harped on long enough for now, have a great weekend and keep training hard!